Summer 2022 - Doula Member Spotlight
Sigrid Swerdlin
End-of-Life Doula
I grew up a little sheltered from the world in a small rural town in Germany. Growing up I only had one living grandparent, but I was very close with my grandma, Anna, who passed away when I was 16 years old. She always said, “If ever I end up in a hospital, I will come out feet first.” And that’s exactly what happened. My parents would not allow me to visit her. I never saw her sick. I never saw her passing away. That never felt right to me. I think my parents wanted to protect me because they knew how close I was with my grandma, but that took something away from me. I could not really put it into words at the time.
In contrary to my upbringing, I always wanted to explore the world and when I got the chance, I moved to England, where I lived for 4 years. When the opportunity arose, I moved to Rwanda (where I met my soulmate, Dean, and married him), then to Senegal. After 10 years in Africa, I moved to Colorado, which I refer to as my ‘forever home’.
During my time in Rwanda my mom, Imelda passed away somewhat unexpectedly. I have three other siblings, but not a single family member was present when she passed away. I believe my mom chose that moment, thinking, ‘If I can’t have them all here, I don’t want any of them here’. Five years later, my father, Manfred passed away also unexpectedly when I was living in Senegal. He too passed away with nobody being at his side.
My time in Africa was an experience I didn’t want to miss. Not only did I meet my soulmate and now husband there, but I experienced how different cultures embrace life and death in such a different way compared to Germany and the U.S. Death is very much a part of life in Africa. End of life is part of a family affair and the care of the dying is filled with rich traditions and rituals that opened my eyes and widened my horizon. It felt so right how death is considered a fact and prepared for, and accepted, rather than a taboo that is avoided and ignored.
My husband’s parents were living in Florida, and once we lived in the US, he would regularly visit and help take care of them. I would accompany him whenever I could and realized I like being with people towards their end of life. When his father George passed away in December 2019, we asked his mom, Camille to move to Colorado since all of her children live in Colorado. After some initial resistance one day she called and said: ‘come get me’ and we did.
Death is very much a part of life in Africa. End of life is part of a family affair and the care of the dying is filled with rich traditions and rituals that opened my eyes and widened my horizon.
We moved her here in March 2020 and the pandemic put a unrealistic spin on everything. She began to decline but we were lucky enough to visit regularly. This time spent with her became so precious to me. The stories shared, the life explained, the giggles and tears. It was amazing. She passed away in December 2021 and I held her hand as she drew her last breath. Being with her these last days was an honor and it felt so right that she was with family surrounding her. I realized that one can be incredibly sad and at the same time experience a rollercoaster of positive emotions.
In 2020, I was reading the newest book of my favorite author, Jodi Picoult, “The Book of Two Ways”. This book’s main character is a death doula. I had never heard about a death doula before, but this book literally changed my life. I spent hours researching, and I realized a Death Doula was a thing! I attended a free webinar with the Doulagivers Institute, and I signed up for their training program the next day. I got my education, my certification, and joined the National End-of-Life Doula Alliance (NEDA) all in record time. This was all happening while I was one of the caregivers for my mother-in-law.
Apart from building my own Death Doula business, I am currently doing hospice volunteering every week and it is very rewarding. I’m very comfortable in this work. I feel I have arrived, both in space and in doing.
And to bring my story full circle, after I finished my doula certification, I told my sister about it and she said, “Oh, just like mom.” It turns out, long after I left Germany, my mom started to volunteer at the local nursing home to be with actively dying people holding their hands, so they wouldn’t be alone. I never knew, but finding this out, and how much this work meant to her, is fascinating to me.
Apart from all the Death Doula services, I love that I can offer one of my passions as an additional service to my clients. That is photography and videography. If clients would like to do a legacy project, or if they want to leave video messages for their children or grandchildren for future milestone events, I am happy to use the skills I have acquired to help them leave a legacy for their loved ones. I also offer Advance Care Planning with clients because death has a 100% success rate and embracing it as part of life and planning ahead is the best one can do for oneself and loved ones.
Contact Information:
Sigrid Swerdlin, Sunset Doula LLC
Phone: 720-548-0021
Email: sunsetdoula@yahoo.com